Negotiations Gone Sour! The Rebellion Pops!

Ulysses' Office
Mercury and Pallas sit in the main quarteres of the captain's ship. Ulysses Black looks sternly at the two, with a look of both disappointment and anger on his face. The two were nervous beyond belief; the town wasn't exactly the cleanest place on Earth, but this debauchery rarely became a deadly state of affairs. Pallas in particular was a bit suspicious of Black's motives, "So, I understand you are the son of this depraved, heathenistic village?" asked Black. "Well, I wouldn't say heathenistic, sir." Pallas said. "We just enjoy the jubilation that life brings. I ask you, is that really worth locking up the townsfolk as well?" he went on.

"You know, there was once a town like yours that sold us a similar story." Black retorted. He turned away for a moment, and his fist shook with anger. "I'm sure you've heard of...Whiskey Peak?!" he demanded, turning around. "Aye, mate." answered Mercury. "But that was completely different! I can assure you on my father's gravestone that not one of us work in some sort of covert organization!"

"You will forgive me if I have a hard time believing this." said Ulysses indignantly. "Even the calmest of waters hide truly terrifying monsters that dare to devour the innocent whole!" "But none of us are like that!" protested Kite. "Hell, we've known the people of this town all our lives, and we've never seen a bandit breakout!" "That's what they all say!" Black spat back. "And what are these reports of you continually refusing to pay your taxes to the World Government?!"

"With all due respect, now I know you're full of crap." said Pallas. "Yeah, we pay our dues like any other self-respecting island!" Mercury added. "Then explain THESE!"

Black threw at them a list of documents showing various tax dodges under the name of the Orlean Bank, the local firm that made sure that this party-happy island remained solvent even in times of war. To say the least, the duo were stunned. They knew for a fact that they'd never dare turn their backs on the World Government or the Marines; especially now that piracy is at an all-time low!

"So either you start paying off your debt of 900,000,000 Beli to the world within 24 hours, or our troops shall call forth the Buster Call and burn this godforsaken island to the ground!" shouted Black. "NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

The duo were shoved out of the office, and ran off the Marine ship as quickly as possible. To say the least, they were horrified at the prospect of being burned alive by what was essentially a death sentence to everyone on any island in the world! They fled into Mercury's house, unsure of what do to. Nervously, Mercury paced the floor, and Pallas sat on the foot of his bed, pondering the method to this seemingly insane madness.

Just then, a knock came to the door. Cautiously, Mercury opened it. "'Ello?" he asked nervously. There was nothing out there, but the evening sky. The stars began to twinkle as the sun set. "You know, guys, this isn't really the time for the old "hit the door and run" gag, ye bleedin' punks!" he called. But as he was about to turn around, he noticed a piece of paper dug into the door. "Eh? What in the-?" He grabbed the envelope and closed the door.

********'

We cut to the Marine ship, as Ulysses Black is drilling his troops for battle. Beside him was the odd giant that oversaw the Marine exercises. "That's good, men." said Black. "You're almost ready for the real party to begin!"

But as the troops finished their drills, they heard shouting in the distance. "Captain!" shouted a Marine in the crow's nest. "What is it, private?" shouted Black. "A mob of people are gathering with torches! ...And what seem to be giant bottles of wheeled wine and champagne." the private replied.

A collective, "Eh?" was heard across the ship. The giant and Black went out personally to see what the deal was. "What is the meaning of this?!" demanded Black. A brown haired, pink shirted villaged approached. "Why, we're here to pay our debts, sir." he said calmly. "Excellent," said Black. "I knew you were the reasonable sorts. Now, just hand over the Beli and we'll gladly leave."

"Gladly, but first, a little token of our esteem." the villager continued. The three bottles of wine and champagne rolled forward. "Eh, okay..." said Black confusedly. "What're those for?" No one said anything. "'''Answer me!" '''he demanded, after ten minutes of silence. "What are they for?" the villager asked. "Simple;"  the bottles turned towards the Marine ship. "It's our debt!" he finished.

The bottles fired their corks like massive cannons, firing both a spray of wine and champagne, and also three massive corks that hit the ship's front and grazed its sides. Immediately, the ship was flooding with water from the sea, and the Marines began to abandon ship. To say the least, Black was anything but pleased.

"You...BASTARDS! This is mutiny, pirate-loving scum!" he roared. "First of all," said a voice, "They're not pirate lovers. Second, you're the real crook here!"

From behind the crowd came Mercury and Pallas, each holding a document of their own in their hands. "It seems you have a mole in your operations, Captain." Pallas continued. "And he was courteous and swift enough to tell us that you were in fact, how did the letter put it? Full of shit."

"Preposterous! Those documents clearly stated that you owed the World Government 900,000,000 Beli!" protested Black. "True, but your mole took the liberty of giving us some new info that you didn't tell us." replied Mercury. "That Beli debt we supposedly have? It was for you!" "In fact," continued Pallas. "You gained said debt from both gambling, and borrowing from Vice-Admirals so you yourself could get away scot-free with partying til your liver exploded!"

"Hell, for all we know," the brown-haired villager replied. "Your little Buster Call warning was one big bluff!" "In restrospect," added Mercury. "You suck at bluffing this high, mate. Stick to poker."

Flabbergasted, Ulysses continued to rave and roar. "Where's your proof that it's me?! I certainly wouldn't turn my back on my duties; unlike you pirate-loving scum!!!"

"We may be drunken dullards at parties," a local female villager retorted. "But we're not pirate lovers; nor are we stupid enough to believe such lies!"

"And as for proof," said Mercury. "There was a list behind the paper that had your little debt on it. Is says, and I quote...."

He cleared his throat and began. "Step 1, find a village so drunkenly stupid and gullible, they'll do whatever you say. Step 2, make them pay your debt for you so you can say he got the funding from a rich island in the Grand Line. Step 3, Burn down entire island with fire brigade so it could look like a Buster Call on a pirate hangout. Hope to gain promotion for this." he finished.

"In other words, Captain," Pallas finished. "You are a terrible planner, you really shouldn't have written all this down for just anyone to pick up, and you've gone and messed with the WROOOOOONG PARTY ANIMALS!" "You want our Beli so bad?!"

Pallas pulls out a kite-shaped harpoon from his belt. "Come and get it, asshole!"

And with that, the Orlean Rebellion began...