One Piece Legacy: Dead End Journey Part 34

Airi and Tatiana stared each other down. "So..." Tatiana started. "Before we go home, this needs to be done. But it's not exactly what i wanted with her being loopy." Tatiana glared behind her to see Freya running amok on the ship with Hiroka trying to calm her down.

"I understand." Airi aid coldly. "But even if she's a little drunk I bet she can still beat you."

"Oh, the usual trash talk? Well well Airi. That must mean you admit defeat. Cause there's no way you can beat me."

Freya is laughing and holding a barrel.

"I LOVE YOU Mr. BARREL! WILL YOU MARRY ME! 'Of course, Miss Freya! The Name is... Kahn... WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Stage three. Crying."

"Stage three?"

"Being drunk. Stage one is anger, stage two is goofy, stage three is crying. Stage four should be sleepy."

Airi walked towards the ship. "Where the hell do you think you're going?!" Tatiana asked, slamming her sword down into the ground.

"Getting my favorite sword." Airi glared back. "You want a real fight?"

"I'm gonna beat you anyway."

"WHY DO YOU HATE ME?!" Freya yelled into the barrel. "I THOUGHT WE HAD A FUTURE!"

Roku yelled in anguish as the barrel flew off. "HHHHHHHUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" He jumped down from the ship and ran into the forest. "That damn barrel made my friend cry!!!"

Freya stared at Roku, and cracked her knuckles. Tatiana and Airi saw the sight, and ran. Roku turned to Freya, saw murderous intent explode from her, and gulped. Freya took one step, and fell down. She was asleep.

"That was anticlimactic."

"Well she's on to stage 5 when she wakes up.... Hangover." Tatiana sat down in place. "Hopefully she wakes up soon, cause I want my rematch!"

"You'll get it. But first... Let's make cat whiskers on her face."

"Sometimes I wonder how old you really are."

"You wanna join me in the cat making?"

"Hell yeah, let's go." Tatiana jumped up and walked with Airi.

-

"My head..."

Freya gets up, with cat ears and has whiskers. She has a black mark over an eye, and is holding her head.

"Morning cat nip." Fantasia remarked with whiskers drawn on her face. "I'm sure you have something to do with this dontcha?"

"What cat nip? What are you talking about."

"Here. Take this mirror."

Freya stares at herself, and she starts to steam.

"I...look... ADORABLE!"

Freya is shocked, and stands up.

"I can't belive it! I'm adorable!"

"YOU LIKE IT?!"

"HELL NO!"

Freya grabs her swords and snarls, with her teeth becoming fangs.

"I WILL SLAUGHTER THE FOOLS WHO MADE ME LIKE THIS!"

"Well, it won't be easy. It's a sea of fools."

Fantasia groaned. "I live on a ship of fools. And from my previous encounters I feel like it was someone from my crew." Her eyes gaze towards Damein. "He knows he did it.."

"Fantasia." He replied, without looking back towards her. "Before you go around blaming me, make sure all your cards in your deck."

"We don't have time for your shit!! Tell me who did this!!"

"Even if I did. You're not really strong enough to beat them."

"I'm strong enough to whip your sorry ass now spill it!!!"

"Okay. I saw two crazy bitches go crazy on Freya's unconscious body. It was..."

Damien was attacked by a shadow.

"FREYA SHALL NEVER FIND OUT!" They glared at Fantasia, taking her down with one hit and disappearing as quickly as they came.

Fantasia laid on the deck looking up to the sky. "What the hell was that?" She asked before falling unconscious.

Freya growled, and roared.

"TATAINA AND AIRI!"

Freya jumped after them, having one sword burst in flames.

They both stood on the beach waiting for her. "You look adorable!" Tatiana teased, standing up.

Airi exhaled and stood up. "So Freya. I'm guessing you want to kill us now? Good. That's kinda what we wanted." Airi reached for her sword. "Let's get this party started."

"Wait your damn turn." Tatiana ordered, stepping up. "I'm getting my rematch first. I don't have time to beat you in the dirt Airi."

"Oh shut it! We can..."

The two were thrown in the air, with Freya roaring. The two slammed onto the ground, and Freya gripped her blades.

"Come... I shall destroy you."

"That's the spirit!" Tatiana jumped back to her feet and held her blade out in front of her, popping her knuckles with her free hand. "This is gonna be fun."

"Don't get wrecked." Airi stated, brushing the sand off of her. "We still have to settle things."

"Yeah yeah yeah. I got it!" Tatiana dug her foot in the ground and lunged for Freya, slamming her sword down as Freya jumped back.

"You will be annihilated." She growled.

"I'm sorry, I can't take you seriously with that adorable neko face!"

"QUIT THAT BULLSHIT ABOUT NEKO!"

Freya slammed them onto the ground with a kick.

Airi spits up some sand. "I guess I gotta participate as well."

"NO!!" Tatiana roared. "This is my rematch!!" She instinctively rose her sword to block a slash from Freya. "Wait your turn!!"

"Don't tell me what to do. I'll kick your ass." Airi said coldly. "Besides, we both know you'll lose in the end."

"We'll see about that!" Tatiana sent Freya backwards and charged for her, slamming her blade down over and over. "DRAGON'S CLAW!!" She flipped her blade to the dull side and slammed it into Freya's side.

Freya snarled and charged towards Airi.

"DASH AND SLASH!"

Freya cuts Airi, and Airi falls down, cut up.

Tatiana stopped and laughed. "That's what you get for talking shit!"

Airi sits back up and draws her sword. "Shut your damn mouth." She charged for Tatiana and slammed her sword down, creating a huge crater. "Your voice is annoying." She tripped Tatiana and charged for Freya. "As for you!" She yelled as they clashed blades. "I don't appreciate the little sneak attack you did."

"You should've been on your guard. There are no rules in mortal combat."

"Oh? Then I've been going about this all wrong!" They both jump back and Airi sheaths her sword. "I found something since we last met. Something that I might give you when I pass on." She reached for the sword strapped to her back and pulls on it. "It's a Holy Sword." As she finished her sentence she blocked another attack from Freya. "Maybe you've heard of it."

"Excalibur." Freya murmured under her breath.

"Yeah."

"Great. Dad used it as a toothpick once."

"... What?"

"Did I forget to say dad was a douche?"

"So he stole the sword of the heavens? To use as a toothpick? When we're done I'm killing him."

"Sorry, he's already dead. Jarl killed him."

"Who?"

"World's strongest swordsman."

"Then I'll kill him."

"That's my job." They both jumped back as Tatiana dropped from the sky. "She's returned."

"You better believe it!!" Tatiana growled, glaring up at them both. "I'm not gonna let myself get beaten so easily!!" She lunged herself towards Freya, matching her strikes blow for blow.

Airi dashed forward. "Heavenly Blazer!!" She slashed through both Freya and Tatiana, Sedna them both flying up high. Freya rebounded mid air and landed on the ship, while Tatiana crashed to the ground and made her way back to the surface.

The three all clash, growling and snarling, when they hear a yell.

"MADIENS! 3 BEATIFUL MADIENS ARE LOCKED IN BATTLE!"

Anerin run towards them, smiling, and the three jump back. Airi is sweating from fear.

"HOLY HELL! This guy... He's a better swordsman then the three of us combined..."

Tatiana nods to Airi.

"He may very well be one of our toughest fights yet..."

Tatiana slams her sword on the ground.

"BUT WHO CARES?!" She charges forward but is stopped by Raion.

He held out his hand. "Hold it lady. We're here to serve justice!"

"RAION!!" Airi yelled. She walked up to him and grabbed his shirt. "What the hell are you doing now? Is he one of your perverted friends?!"

"What? No. Not this time. He's actually cool!" He winced and grabbed Excalibur to deflect Freya's attack. "Woah there lolicon.... Whats that on your face? Some cat whiskers? They're adora-"

Freya cut through Raion, leaving him in two spatial pieces. "Get out the way. You're interrupting."

"You see. I would be pissed if I couldn't reform myself." Raion reformed his body and picked Freya up by her shirt.

"Don't worry, I knew you could. If you couldn't, I wouldn't has slashed you in half."

"That's nice to know... IF I WASN'T A CRAZY PSYCHO!"

"....what?"

"eh. I don't know, was just trying to be spontaneous. Something I learned from Anerin." Raion gave Anerin a thumbs up.

Anerin gave a thumbs up back to Raion. The two smiled, and sparkles surrounded them. The girls stared awkwardly at Raion. Airi coughed.

"Well... Didn't know he was your type..."

"GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!"

"It's alright if you like guys. There's nothing wrong with that."

"I'm just gonna ignore you now... After this. What're you doing? I'm interested. You brought out Excalibur so it has to be a fight."

Anerin stares at the sword, and brings his out.

"But... I have Avalon. Avalon is cooler."

Airi scoffs, and shows Excalibur.

"This blade is one made to be one of the greatest on the planent. It's said to be one of the 21 blades. Legend says that the original user cut up a metroite into a thousand and one pieces."

"My sword is 15 feet long."

"Are you accommodating for something?"

"Madam, I'm a 25 foot tall man. I don't need to compensate."

Raion nods.

"He has a point."

"Are you sure you don't like guys?"

"Dammit Airi! I'm not into guys!!"

"Are you sure?"

Raion turned to the Attack Pirates ship. "AYO FANTASIA!!"

"WHAT?!"

"CAN YOU SAY YOUR CATCHPHRASE?"

"FUCK OFF!!"

"THANK YOU!"

Airi just stares at Raion, and face palms.

-

"So then... Rangton was all beat up. Turns out fighting an MMA expert who can explode was not the smartest idea. Still, he avenged me. So I kind of owe him for that."

Malk sips his beer and lays it down.

"Ahh loyalty." Zero exhaled drinking straight from the wine bottle. "So it's my turn for a story?"

"Nope! It's mine!" Grace downed her drink. "So this one time, we were visiting Arcus Island. The people weren't that bad. It was just out of no where Hayley just walked up to their leader, sucked all the blood out his body and walked off. We still can't go to that island."

"Weak!!" Zero shouted.

"Like you have something better!"

"As a matter of fact I do. And I'm sure Malk has to go through this all the damn time. For the last few months, the fridge has been disappearing completely. The entire fucking fridge!! Every time I find it, the same three people are there. Axel, Kent, and Raion. They're actually eating the damn fridge!! I'm guessing cause they couldn't open it, they just started eating it! We've gone through several fridges that I lost count!"

"Well, my case isn't as bad. Once, I discovered that Oak used vines to steal the fridge, because Tack ordered him. Or the time he ordered Christie to freeze me in time so Tack could steal it. Or when he ordered Rangton to cover the doors with glue so he could be alone with it. Or when he ordered Taka and Ness to surprise Attack me to steal it. Holy shit... My captain only gives us orders when he wants to steal food from the fridge. Just... Wow. My crew is messed up. We are sad, pathetic, worthless people. Still better then my last job. Because when I poison people, I don't get sued, I get praised!"

"I knew that feeling. Kent doesn't give us orders unless he wants something. Usually dealing with food. Instead we get orders from Jericho or Hiroka....mainly Hiroka."

"Man, you mean that scary dark haired girl?"

"Yep."

"My condolences."

"They're well appreciated."

Wort eats a whole chicken and laughs.

"Riker found me in my village! I wanted to eat him... So he broke 4 of my ribs. But then he said I was strong, so I joined."

"Wow... That's nice." Grace said, sipping her tea. "You three have some weird captains."

Malk coughs.

"Captain sucked up some guys blood."

"Okay, he was evil! Besides, she wasn't feeling well..."

"Do you have any proof that he was evil? Cause to me it sounded like she was just hungry and he was the first thing she saw."

"You be quiet!!"

"Ahh, and you call me, a cannibal evil?"

"QUIET MAN EATER!"

"At least I don't drink the blood of innocents. Only consumption."

"I don't eat people period."

Zero stood up. "So anyone got a good story? Cause if not I'd like to volunteer!" Malk gave him a thumbs up. "Okay, this happened few months back, before the first fridge incident. It was the time I learned that food could be disgusting. I wasn't feeling good, and Jericho offered to cook. So I let him. Suddenly Kent, Rhea and Fantasia just abandon ship for no reason. Once it came out it looked....mediocre, but it looked edible. In the end.... It gave me and the rest of the crew that ate it explosive diarrhea."

"That..... Is so gross." Grace looked away trying to keep her lunch down.

Malk snickered.

"You think that's bad? Once, Rangton cooked... And the wood around him became black. Just from the fumes."

"What? Did he fart?"

"No. He was making cereal. Somehow... The cereal was on fire."

"My brain hurts trying to make sense of that."

"So did mine. Even Tack wouldn't eat his food... And Tack will eat wood for nourishment!"

"How can people eat the inedible? It's mind boggling."

"Well, I will never find out. Hey... All the food is gone. Shame to all the tools who missed this good food."

Zero stood up and bowed his head. "May they rest in delicious peace."

"Indeed."

-

Hayley stared at Beta, clenching her fist and taking deep breaths. "So... You attacked my crew mate?"

"Well..."

Beta is tied up, and is over a roasting fire.

"It was self defense."

"BULLSHIT!!! You attacked her and now you're getting roasted... Where's Grace? If I do it ima burn you."

"What did I ever do to deserve this?!"

"You attacked my bounty hunter!!"

"AFTER SHE ATTACKED ME!"

"LIAR!"

"OBJECTION!"

A beta pirate slid to Hayley, and showed her papers.

"I used to be a lawyer, so I know that he is an innocent man till proven guilty. Now I have 40 witness who swear that he is innocent!"

Hayley picked up the papers and tossed them into the flame. "You see I'm not dumb. All 40 of your eye witnesses are members of his crew. Of course they're gonna side with him so he can live."

"Damn it... I HAVE ROKU!

"Where?"

"He... Ran..."

"You aren't a very good lawyer."

"No. I wasn't."

The betw pirate falls down from being depressed, and two other beta pirates carry him away.

"I rest my case!" Hayley turned to Beta. "So medium rare? Or well done?"

"I don't wanna be cooked!!!"

"You have no choice."

"Then medium rare. I mean... SAVE ME!"

"CAPTAIN!"

One beta pirate rushes at Hayley, and she punches him. The rest stare at Hayley, backing away slightly.

"GUYS!"

"Sorry cap... But she's scary!"

Hayley's eyes flashed blood red. "It is wise not to anger the vampire queen." She turned to the Beta Pirates and they backed away. "Don't worry Beta, I'll give you a death fit for a joker."

"ALPHA SQUAD!"

4 men jumped from the crowd, all holding barrels.

"Why are you guys holding barrels?"

"Well... We were playing bobbing for apples... So we decided to bring them with us."

"You guys are a bunch of idiots." Hayley shook her head. "Beta.... I changed my mind about killing you."

"YES!!!" He cheered.

"Now it'll be a death fit for the King of Jokers."

"... Ow."

"You didn't think I would let you go now did you?"

"Well... A little."

Suddenly, someone Attacks Hayley.

"OSWALD TO THE RESCUE!"

Hayley recovered from the attack and glared at Oswald. "A mummy versus a vampire... Oddly I've always wanted to see what would happen."

"Yes. It'll be a bloodshed."

-

Oswald is beat up and bruised.

"I told you... It would be a bloodshed. Just not a good one."

"I knew the vampire would win. Now for my victory I shall celebrate by the roasting of Beta!" She turned to Beta to see him being hauled off by his crew.

"RETREAT!"

They retreat. Hayley looks pissed, but stops herself.

"Well... I tortured them enough. Besides, Belladona probably did deserve it." She walked over to Belladonna and picked up her cake. Along with pulling a bag of money from her sleeve, waving them both in her face.

Belladonna sprung up. "Cake and money?! Am I in heaven?!"

"Nope. You're in the future still. I still can't believe that can still wake you up."

"Shut up!!" Belladonna blushed and looked away. "It's not my fault.... Wait.. How the hell did I get here?"

"Long story."

"Tell me."

"You were being you."

"Ahh. That explains a lot." Belladonna looked around. "Sooo.... About that cake you have there....can I have it?"

Hayley glanced down at it then handed it over. "Take it. Just don't make me have to roast another person."

"You roasted a guy?! Hayley I knew you were a blood thirsty vampire but I didn't know you were a cannibal!!"

-

Wort perked up. "My cannibal senses are tingling. A non cannibal has been associated with us."

-

Riker was all alone, drinking wine and reading a book.

"Relaxing. This is the most fun I've had in days. When shall it be ruined? In... 3... 2... 1."

Kent and Tack fall in front of Riker. Kent bounces up and brushes his clothes off. "Well... There's only one thing to say at a time like this. We came to eat food and fuck shit up."

Riker exhaled. "Get the hell out of my room."

Tack bonked Riker's head.

"Come on, it can be really fun!"

"Let me think about it. No."

"YES!!" Kent bonked Riker on his head. "I won't stop until you say yes."