User blog:Nobody700/The Night Before Pirate Christmas

It was the night before Christmas, and on the Traveller, not a pirate was stirring, not even a hyperactive Tack. All the cozy little pirates were tucked in their hay, and instead of a tree, they made one of Freya's swords a tree. Malk made cookies for santas, but Tack ate them. So he made them again. And again. And again. And again. After a near fatal case, Tack stop eating cookies. All the pirates were resting, dreaming of tommorow. Tack dreamed of a new pair of slippers, meat, a new yellow jacket with black spots, and maybe a cyborg powered by awesome. Freya dreamed of a thousand enemies, a new sword that shot lasers at people, and a cute red coat that matched her shoes. Zozo dreamed of a comb, a new gold looking jacket, and a toothbrush. Malk dreamed of new kitchen knives, an anti Tack security device, and scar ointment. Rangton dreamed of booze, a naught catalog for older gentlemen, a shirt that made him look 50 pounds slimmer, and a new book on how to snark. Christie dreamed of medical equipment, a surgery outfit, and an outfit that was 'In'. Taka and Ness dreamed of women, electric guitars, and ideas for comedy skits. Suddenly, the group heard a loud thud, and Tack got up.

"PIRATE SANTA"

Tack screamed out. Tack ran as fast as his rubber feet could make him. Christie, as childish as Tack, ran as fast as him. The two ran down the hall and saw the sight. Santa was karate chopped by Oak. Tack sobbed, and Chrsitie fainted. The rest of them followed and stared at the unconscious Santa.

"SANTA IS DEAD!"

They wailed. Rangton kicked Santa in the gut, and felt his neck.

"Not yet, but he'll be dead in no time with his eating habits."

Rangton declared. Malk pointed at Oak accusingly.

"WHY DID YOU ATTACK SANTA?!"

Malk questioned. Oak shrugged.

"He looked dangerous. So I defended us."

Oak stated. Zozo looked at the unconscious Santa and bit his nails.

"We just attacked Santa! We must be on the naughty list now!"

Zozo panicked. Freya saw Santa's sack, and grabbed it. It was a small magic sack, that made anything the user wanted. Freya wanted a bazooka, so she got one.

"This magic bag is awesome! Let's keep the old man hostage, and make more!"

She screamed. Taka and Ness gave her looks that said 'You are evil'. Freya noticed what she said and backtracked.

"If I was Riker... Of course."

-

Riker sneezed. He then looked around his room, and saw nothing but coal.

"Bah humbug."

Riker uttered.

-

Santa started to get up and stared at Christie's rack.

"Mrs. Clause?"

Santa mistook her. Christie covered herself, and hid behind Ness. Santa saw his sack, and grabbed it. Santa stared at the Attack pirates, and scowled.

"This is the 4th time tonight. Why do I deliver to pirates?!"

Santa growled. Santa took from his pocket, and grabbed dust. He blew it at everyone, and the entire crew fell asleep, dreaming of Santa groping Mrs. Clause for some odd reason.

-

Tack awoke to a startle, and in his hands he saw a roasted ham.

"MERRY MEATMAS!"

Tack echoed.