One Piece Legacy: The Battle of Water 7 part 9

A"Dang it."

Ness and Malk walk out of a club, with Ness staring at his slips of papers. The papers were for if you want me, that people in parties would hand out to each other with a signature.

"3 pieces of paper. One was from an ugly chick, one was from a guy, and one was from a woman who felt bad for me!"

Malk looked at his 78 slips of paper, and felt mercy for Ness.

"Do you want to borrow 4 or 5 of my girl portion? I have like, 57 slips for women."

"No, I need to do this alone!"

"So, you do have man's pride."

"Of course! How can a man be a man if he can't get at least one pretty woman to want him!"

"Okay, Ness... Do you want my honest opinion?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. On attraction, you are a 7, on a scale of 1 to 10. So it's not your body that needs fixing. It's your personality."

"What's wrong with my personality?"

"Well..."

-30 minutes ago-

Ness slides between two women talking.

"Let's make this a Ness sandwich. 2 lovely ladies, and one Ness.

-

Ness buys a drink for a women, and hands it to her, she takes a sip, and he notices a drop of water on her lip, and smoothly uses his thumb to take it off. She's clearly impressed, and Ness speaks.

"So, how about we go to your place and have fun."

-

Ness hears a woman scream, and notices a guy is harassing two women. Ness drop kicks the man, and looks to the woman.

"YOU IDIOT! YOU ATTACKED MY BOYFRIEND! THE HARASSING PARTY IS THIS WOMAN!"

-Present-

Ness thinks over his options.

"Well the last one..."

"You didn't notice the 2nd women inserting her tongue in that others woman's face?"

"Good point. How did I not notice that?!"

"Look, here's how I went through it."

-30 minutes ago-

Malk notices two women talking, and walks past them.

-

Malk is talking to a woman, and he hands her a drink. She takes a sip, he notices she has some drops on her lips, and he uses his thumb to wipe it off.

-

A man is harassing a women, and Malk grabs the man's arm.

"Leave her alone buddy."

-Present-

"HOW ARE YOU SO POPULAR?!"

"Easy. I'm a 9, I respect women, and I gave off a vibe."

"A vibe?"

"You give off a vibe that says 'Bang me, I'm desperate.' Mine was 'I don't care who I go with tonight, just someone I like'."

"Wow, HOW DID YOU GET SO MUCH?"

"Okay, let me show you."

Malk and Ness walk to an alleyway, and Malk whispers something to Ness's ear. Ness is blushing, and hides his face from Malk.

"Pervert. Awful man. Mother was right, men are pigs."

"Oh shut it Ness. I was joking. Saying that would get you killed."

"Really? Because... I might have said that..."

"... Ness, did a woman ever raise you?"

"No."

"Ahh, makes sense."

"What about Tack?!"

"Tack had good parents. You... Not so much."

"Well, I was an orphan. I actually only met a woman when I was... 15."

"15 YEARS?!"

"I only heard stories about them. They have big boobs, amazing bodies, and they really like it if you are assertive."

"A feminist just died."

Malk rubs his eyes, and tries to think of an idea for Ness.

"Okay, let's try this strategy!"

-

They are back at the club, and the bouncer notices Malk and Ness.

"Malk! Some of the ladies missed YA. Ness, I've been ordered to not let you in."

"WHAT THE HELL MAN?!"

"Sorry Ness. Got way too many complaints about YA."

"DAMN!"

"QUICK NESS, TO ANOTHER CLUB!"

-

Ness is surrounded by large and burly women. One, bigger then the others, picks up Ness and walks away.

"I GOT ME A BOYFRIEND!"

"MALK!"

Malk is being carried like a bride from another woman.

"Ness, I have bigger troubles. I think I'm engaged.

-

Vance stuffs another potato in his mouth.

"25!"

"PEOPLE ARE HERE!"

3 large men and a young boy jump into the room.

"POTATO EATING FORCE 4!"

Vance throws a potato at each of them.

"Hurry, for your lives depend on it!"

They all take a bite, and eat.

-

Malk, and Ness walk out of an alleyway bruised and their clothes ripped up, with Malk holding his black eye, but Ness is smiling like an idiot despite having bruises all over his body.

"Yay... I beat Cap..."

"No... You were beat..."

They fall down on the ground, unconscious.